I was just a schoolboy
Dropping out of school
Just another Portnoy
Fooling with his tool

Sunny days down by the stream
Oh mama I was cool
Rainy days were like a dream
Of fishes in a pool

One day the whole town found out
I was almost where it's at
My daddy had to pay a pound out
Just to get me out of that
Then he took me to the dentist
Who crucified my tooth
The dentist read to me his laundry list
And he said, "Dear boy, it's the truth"

Lie lie lie lie la lie lie lie
Lie la lie la lie

My mama took me to the doctor
Who was really kinda pissed
The doctor stuck me in his locker
He must have thought I wouldn't be missed
Then him and his forty nurses
They done me some weird research
They programmed me with holy verses
And then they forced me to sing in church

La la la la la la la ha ha
Hallelujah hey hey ha

I guess God heard my singing
And she liked what she heard
She sent some angels winging
Just to put in a good word
Now you probably won't believe it
The way I got out of jail
You can take my word or leave it
But Jesus stood my bail

Sunny days down by the stream
Oh mama I was so cool
Rainy days were like a dream
Of little fishes in a pool

Well mama was just a little sad
Seeing how thin I had become
She passed the message on to dad
Who meditated some
"Well okay son," he said,
"I know exactly how you feel
Maybe you should go to bed
With a lovely lusty meal"

One hypnotic gesture was all it took
To end this story happy
He got me a girl with a melting look
He's a real magician man my pappy

Sunny days down by the stream
Oh mama mama I was cool
Rainy days were like a dream
A dream of fishes in a pool